It was the nicest gift I had ever given anyone. 

I spent the day decorating the house, bought a cake and card. I didn’t get to celebrate his birthday before. His gift was two months late, and my ex husband was still in the picture. He has been out of town for a few days so it was a total surprise when he walked in. 

I’m not quite sure what I expected. I should have known better. I should be used to this by now.

He opened it, and loved it, custom fuse box cover for his charger. Engraved with his name. I’ve given thoughtful gifts but none ever this nice. He put it on right away, hugged me. 

Celebretory fuck. And then he’s out the door. 

I thought I would have gotten at least an invite? I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Why even bother right? 

The whole day decorating. Spit in my face. I never did anything like this for anyone. And I’m treated like an afterthought. 

This is my last night fucking crying. My divorce is final. I start a shit ton of new meds tomorrow. And if I turn into a goddamn zombie, so be it. I’d rather be emotionless than to ever feel like this again. 

I’m going to force myself not to love him anymore.

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